the reason

OK Ok i knowww how annoying it is that i went private. and i am sooo sorry! Having to log in everyyy time you want to read my blog? talk about frustrating. But i can most definitely assure you that it will just be for the time being. With all the CRAP that has been going on in my life lately, i finally realized i just need to simplify. Fly under the radar for a bit. Don't get me wrong.. I LOVE love twitter, Facebook, blogs, and all that other good stuff. But lately it has been biting me in the freakin butt. SO what do i do? privatize my life and shut things down. Good bye to Facebook. Good bye to twitter. And hello to private blog. At least for awhile. And hopefully this keeps things like 

Random people emailing me about Benjamin:

Ps: if you know anything about this fake person.. let me know :)

Mysterious people making fake twitter accounts just to pester me about my love life..and then pretending like they "have the wrong person"..

Anonymous numbers texting me rude/judgmental things:

...........you remember that post?... yeah well i got another one last week. This person is sooo awesome!

Oh and lets not forget about the whole.. "some one hacked my email, and facebook, and reset all the passwords.." Yeah that totally happened. Twice actually. Also, it all happened while i was logged in on facebook, and i got the email at the same time saying i had requested a password change? So i knew something was up. And fixed it immediately. Then, not ten minutes later the exact same thing happened. So i fixed it again, and ohhh wait, the next morning i woke up and passwords were changed again! how in the world does that even happen? I promise my passwords are so hard. Sometimes i cant even remember them. Oh andddd someone hacked AGAIN more recently, and reset all my facebook settings. So no one could post on my wall, and certain people were blocked.  Seriously in the past month or so i have reset ALL my passwords probably about 10 times. And that is nooo exaggeration. So finally, i am done. done with the drama. done with the world getting involved in my life. and done with social media. At least til i feel like i have my life figured out. 

So thank you for coming along this little adventure with me. i love you readers. every single one of you. Thats why you got an invite to come along. I'll be a good blogger now since i dont have all that other ish to keep up on! 

Going private

In a reach to simplify my life, I've decided to go private. I know it's annoying and it sucks, but I'm at least gonna do it for the time being. With that being said, if you are some random person I've never met, we are blogger friends, or if you're my neighbor down the street, I would loveee for you to continue reading. So leave me your email in a comment and we'll get this in the works. I'm deleting my Facebook as well. And while this won't be permanent I dont wanna lose you readers. love you all and hope ya understand! xoxoxo

The do

Maybe my skin looks slightly yellow but we'll blame that on instagram. I love my new hair color.. It's super dark, but as we all know, it will lighten over the next while. It still kinda scares me when i look in the mirror! Haha. I love changing up my hair.. In fact, I've decided I just love change all together. Well, except when it deals with snow, lack of sunshine, and freezing toes.

ok sooo maybe i love her a lot

dont judge the fact i teared up in this video...

new obsession

sooo i recently discovered this new site.. it's called flavorme. It is sooo dumb yet sooo awesome! Basically it streams all your apps and social media into one website. I haven't paid for the upgrade yet, so mine is still kinda in the works. It allows you to set background pics, fonts, manage blogs, twitter, FB, apps, etc. Anyway i can't really explain it better than that.. but check mine out and maybe think about starting your own. It's free people! let me know what you think

http://flavors.me/haleyj12

sparks has sparked my interest again!

well Nicholas Sparks has done it again people. I will be the first to admit.. i love his books. i am a sucker for romantic novels, and his usually do the trick. I loveddd Dear John, The Choice, and a few others.. i'm drawing a blank on the names. BUT the movies are never quite as good. Dear John, the book, is completely different than the movie, and quite frankly the book is sooo much better and more realistic. Anyway, i am way excited for this movie to come out! Ummm HELLO Zach Efron and Nicholas Sparks? Perfect movie set up.

Start off your day right...

"Don't demand things that are unreasonable, but demand of yourself improvement. As you let the Lord help you, through that, He will make the difference."

Such a perfect reminder. I think we all have the tendency to be 'weak in heart' sometimes, but i am grateful for the knowledge that my Savior is there to help me become strong!

Perfect words for a perfect reminder

I got this quote at church on sunday and i absolutely love it. So read on people.. you will love it just as much.. i'm sure of it.

"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable; more worthy to be called the children of god."
-Elder Orson F. Whitney

In that case, bring on the trials. Teach me patience, faith, fortitude, humility, and build my character pleaseeee.

Also, i wanted to throw out a public THANK YOU to all of you who have sent me cute messages, left ever-so-sweet comments, thoughtful texts, facebook messages, etc....I am so grateful for the constant reminders that people can relate to how i feel, and the gentle reminder that people genuinely care about my well-being. Seriously though.. you guys are the best!!

i just wish

..people would stop thinking that they know everything about my life. I got another awesome text from 141000008... remember them? Just when i thought the storm was over this lovely tries to tell me what i need to do. Really people? you would think they would have understood the first time!...apparently not.

Lessons to be learned (for my purposes only): your best friends can prove to be your worst. Random people will always think they know best. And in the end, all that matters is what your Heavenly Father thinks. Personally, i think he loves me no matter what.

they are married.

yup it is official! Heather and Carson are MARRIED! it was such a fun reception and they were sooo happy. I am ecstatic for these two and can't wait to see where life takes them next!

Hey thanks to Kylee and Caitlin for providing me with the pictures :)

i feel loved

Well i had an epiphany the other day. I was driving home from st george and having my much needed thinking time. All of a sudden i started crying. Not a sad cry though, but tears of happiness. I was suddenly full of such love for all my great friends. Sure i have always known my friends were great, but really i am surrounded by the best. Within a matter of 24 hours my feelings went from feeling completely alone, to the exact opposite.. nothing near that. My friends care and they love me for who i am.

It all started Tuesday morning with a voicemail from my dear Whitley. All it said was.. "HALEYYYY J call meee backkkkkk." The simple tone of her voice alone made me so happy. Then i got a text from Preston telling me he was excited for me to watch him play. Then a phone call from Nate. It had been awhile since we talked, and a simple "how are you hay, we haven't talked in awhile" turned into an hour conversation. Next a phone call from my mother expressing her feelings for me and her opinions of my life. She is one wise woman i tell you! My 3rd grade teacher randomly wrote on my FB saying she was thinking about me. I arrived in St George and headed to get pedi's with Whit. Such a perfect catch up activity. She told me her latest news, and i told her mine. I love chats with whit.. she is so non-judgmental and such a good listener. We met up with Ammon and Luke for dinner.. which was way fun getting to know Luke a little more. I received a phone call from jess saying that she was having a BOY!!!! gahhhh i flipped!!! Later that night at the Dixie State vs Montana game i got to see Madison. Love that girl. And Court and Morgan too. Sooo many good friends i tell you! I even got to see some of my old 'baseball buddies'.. quinn and hanley. And of course, we can't forget Hesterly. And, i got to meet some of my friend's friends (does that even make sense?) .. Tyler, Luke, Tyler, Rhett. People i constantly hear stories about, and i finally got to put faces to the names. I got to talk to Prest and Chase very briefly after the game and it made me soo happy. i got a text from Eric Proctor asking me about Africa--always a happy subject, PLUS conversations with eric always turn out to be hilarious. Then, i had another amazing conversation with Ammon... seriously conversations with that boy are always the best. Heading home and walkin into the house to a little surprise from whit made me smile and reminisce about our freshman year. (Jacie... all fours ring a bell?) And the conversation to follow made me even happier. Somehow, whit, min, and i, ended up staying up til 5:15 in the morning just chatting about who even knows what. Love those girls like sisters. Naturally we watched wedding and engagement videos on vimeo... Ya know since we are all sooo close to getting married. bahahhahaah. We practically fell asleep on my little twin bed and woke up wayyy too early the next morning for various reasons. Definitely made for a happy morning.

The next day all the love continued. Anddd it continues! Seriously i dont know how i ever got so lucky to be surrounded by the best. I love my friends. And i am extremely grateful to my Heavenly Father for the wonderful people he has put in my life. Ya know that quote about being an answer to someone else's prayer if you are doing what is right? well i am soo grateful that my friends have been worthy to receive the revelation they have been given. Because, with out even knowing it they have been answers to my prayers in their own little way. I am grateful for the Lords timing and plan for me. I know that he hears and answers my prayers. Even if they don't come when i want them or think they should. He answers them in His time.. and sometimes all the answers come at once. Life is sooo GOOD people!

Feel free to skip the pics.. but it does provide a nice little look at my numerous hair colors over the years..

Madison and I in AZ my sophomore year 

The girls at Karaoke night 

Hesterly and I after we went rabbit hunting

Haley. Lexi. Haley. 

The gang at Carson's homecoming.
Jason. Brayden. Ky. Stets. Jess. Cars.Nate. Haley. Craig. Lace. Heath

The kicks at Jaim's wedding!
Jess. Haley. Jaim. Dut. Brooke. steph

Jess and Whit

Scottie and I

Min. Paige. Hay. Whit. 

Amm 

Flashback to high school! Cody and Presty :) 

first comes love.. then comes marriage.. then comes.....

Babies in the baby carriage. GAHH!! two of my besties are PREGGO! i have been waiting and waiting for the news to go public and finally i can share my joy with you! Jess and Ev are having their baby at the beginning of April, and Brooke and Dan's baby is due at the end of June! wow wow wow! i am so excited for both of these couples. Seriously Jess and Brooke are going to be amazing mothers, and Ev and Dan are going to be awesome fathers. I am still in shock that a lot of my friends are beginning to start their families. Seriously when did i get so old? Hellooooo permanent baby sitting job for Haley!

Brookie and Dan! 

Jess and Ev.. and their dog Sadie of course

Plus i really hope they dont mind that i stole these pictures from their facebooks.. Seriously i am soo happy for them!

Halloween

Wow i am such an awesome blogger. Really.. a week after Halloween and i haven't even shown off my pictures! Halloween is seriously one of my favoriteee holidays. i love dressing up! and every year i have the best ideas what to dress up as.. the only problem is.. these ideas come after halloween! what the crap. This year i had high hopes for myself and ended up being a last minute witch. See the problem?  How does Halloween sneak up so fast?! I still had an awesome Halloween and i loved hanging out with my girl Scottie. We went to a few lame parties and somehow still managed to make each other laugh. Our favorite thing to do is to act like legit crazy chicks.. like we have random way loud fake laugh attacks and watch as people just stare at us. This usually leads to us 'real laughing' to the point we literally can't stop. Ok now that you know how lame we are, i promise you we have this weird ability to make fun wherever we go. It was awesome. Oh and Scottie.."what were you again?!" hahahahah love you girl!

The witch is in

typical mother making me and the sis take pics together in our costumes 

Just loving the AWESOME parties. hahahahahahahaha

 Best cosume of the night goes to this guy...... he looked legitttt.

Now that i have done my Halloween post.. i can officially Welcome November! I'll be honest... Thanksgiving isn't one of my favorite holidays. I'm not a huge fan of the whole thanksgiving dinner menu.. Turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing? not my exact forte, but i'll definitely take some of grandma's rolls! In my opinion it is a little over rated. BUT any excuse to be with my family, express thanks, and get out of school is totallyyyyy worth it. Bring on the turkey!

my babe

While in Africa, we have the opportunity to go to an orphanage for babies aging from newborn to 4 years old. The police bring the babes here after they have found them abandoned on the streets. Sometimes, the babies are left at the gate because the mother is ashamed of the pregnancy (usually because she was raped by a family member--something highly frowned upon yet soo common). The first year the orphanage was one of the highlights of my trip, and this year was no different. I love the kids there with all my heart. It is a place where i am given the opportunity to give genuine and instant love to children who have never really felt it. There are 4 women who work at this orphanage, and each of them are in charge of 10 children. All day. every day. To say they need a little help is an understatement.

This year i was lucky enough to be able to spend the majority of my time there with the newborn babies. Babies are my favorite. Don't get me wrong, i loveee toddlers. But there is just something about holding a baby in your arms. Just knowing they were recently with our Heavenly Father is indescribable. So innocent, helpless, and pure. We arrived at the orphanage while the babies were napping, and one by one as they awoke, each of us was given a baby to hold and care for. I was handed my sweet little Mary. She was so tiny and well behaved. She hardly made a peep besides her little laughing squeal (make sure to watch the video at the end of this post). She was so ticklish and had the cutest dark curly hair. She cuddled right up to me and just laid on my chest. I was instantly in love.

It's hard to express the feelings i get when i think of my experiences in Kenya. Quite honestly, that's why i don't really blog about it all that much. There is no way to come close to putting in words the feelings i have for that wonderful place. And there is no way to adequately describe the deep and immediate love i felt for my little babe Mary. It was sooo hard leaving knowing the reality of her circumstance. I secretly wanted to put her in my backpack and sneak her home.  But I have hope that she will be one of the few to be adopted this year. ......And if she isn't, well, you better believe as soon as i get married i will be finding her and be bringing her home with me for good!



Mary from Haley Hansen on Vimeo.


ok how adorable is she..really though? oh and please ignore the fact that i keep saying how much she loves the camera. I know i sound dumb and geeky in my 'baby talk voice'.. but in my defense, she really did loveeee it.

farewell little brother

It's official! I have the cutest missionary brother on the planet. We took him to the MTC on wednesday and although a little rough, i couldn't be more proud of the kid. He is a hard worker, dedicated, smart, loving, hilarious, trustworthy, and dependable. I already miss our late night chats about boys, girls, family, drama, or the gospel. I cherish the nights when East would knock on my door and come lay on my bed while we just talked about life. We laughed (mostly at Kalinee sleep talking), we cried, we got mad, and we laughed some more. But he taught me so much, and still continues to teach me. He is so mature and has more faith than anyone i know. The people of Guatemala are seriously sooo lucky to have him.

We got our first email today. He is doing sooo awesome and i couldn't be more proud! He said he keeps preparing himself for that awful, horrible, terrible, day everyone said he would have, and he was happy to report it hadn't happened yet. Good news right?! He said he is staying busy and working hard to learn 'this spanish stuff'. hahah His companion is from canada.. to which he responded.."Canada eh?!" it was hilarious and made all of us laugh. He will be in the Provo MTC for about 3 weeks, and then he will head to the Guatemala MTC for another 6. Yay for missionaries!

i knew it

ya know those feelings you get when you know the inevitable will happen?
ya know those feelings you get when you try to forget the past and believe the same thing wont happen again?
ya know those feelings you get when you try soo hard to make something right and it doesn't work out?
ya know those feelings you get when you trust someone with all you have?
ya know those feelings you get when you love someone? maybe even two?
ya know those feelings you get when someone is honest with you but it feels like the exact opposite?
ya know those feelings you get when you feel like you have made yourself clear and people still don't understand?
ya know those feelings you get when you feel like your good friends have done you wrong?
ya know those feelings you get when you feel like no one has listened to you?
ya know those feelings you get when you feel like all you want to do is cry?
ya know those feelings you get when you can't wait to leave town ..and wish you could leave forever?
ya know those feelings you get when people get in your business that have no right?
ya know those feelings you get when you really just wanna throw your phone at the wall and hope it shatters into a billion pieces?
ya know those feelings you get when you people say you'll regret things but you know you wont?
ya know those feelings you get when people literally think you are crazy? and you're being logical?
ya know those feelings you get when you find out your best friend is pregnant?
ya know those feelings you get when someone tells you one thing and does the opposite?
ya know those feelings you get when other parents call your parents to talk about your friendships?
ya know those feelings you get when you are so exhausted but so emotionally wound up that you can't sleep?
ya know those feelings you get when your best-friend-brother leaves on a mission and you have to be the strong one?
ya know those feelings you get when you finally break down?
ya know those feelings you get when you heavenly father comforts you?
ya know those feelings you get when you feel like you never want to leave your house everrrr?
ya know those feelings you get when you are so excited to see someone that tomorrow can't come fast enough?
ya know those feelings you get when you read your scriptures and somehow your heart is calmed?
you did know. and you did it anyway. and i knew it would happen as much as i thought you would be better than that.



.....yeah i'm calling it a night. it's been one from hell. and one from heaven. buttttt we'll end on that.

confession

i have been a little vague with my blog lately. i have been beating around the bush and leaving you all wondering. i haven't wanted to put it all out there, and quite frankly, i probably won't ever do that. But eventually i will tell you what is going on. Life hasn't been all peaches and cream lately and things i thought would happen FOR SURE, may not. it is a constant day to day process and i am working on learning the lessons meant for me. I promise i will give you the deets soon. But until then.. just keep me in your prayers. Yup i threw it out there. i need your prayers. :)

A Sunday of mixed emotions

Today was the dreaded day.. My sweet 'little' brother Easton had his missionary farewell. I know i didn't do a particularly great job of telling you when he got his mission call.. my goodness that was 5 months ago! He actually opened his call while i was in Africa... and with the miracle of technology i was able to listen in from the middle of the African dessert as he announced he would be serving in Guatemala City, Guatemala. He did an amazing job speaking today, and drew quite the crowd of teenage girls to my house this afternoon. One thing is for sure.. he will be greatly missed and wednesday is going to be roughhhhh. i love my dear brother and am so happy he has a desire to serve the lord!

cute elder Hansen

Today was also a big day in Kali's life. This morning she received her patriarchal blessing! I was so excited she let me share that special moment with her. I know i don't say much about my sweet sister, by let me tell you: She is one amazing girl. She has quite the life ahead of her and i am so proud to call her my sister. Not only is she super freakishly intelligent, but she is nice, caring, funny, and gorgeous along with all those other things. I love her and am grateful for the spiritual experience i got to have with her along with my other siblings and parents this morning.

Daddio. Kali. East. Teag. Chan. Haley. Mom.

It's official. i have the best family around. sometimes life is rough, but my family is a family of strength and encouragement. I love them all dearly and i am excited to see where the future takes us all.

Top 10 Ear Pleasers of the moment...

.... my style of music? pretty much anything and everything.. as you can see here :)

Maroon 5... hard to pick just one song. -this stupid playlist only had this one.. so look up "i can't lie" it's a longtime fav of mine.
Everything..Obviously a classic Ingrid song. But who doesn't need a Happy-go-lucky song every once in awhile?
I love love loveee mat kearney. His new stuff is incredible.
And tay.. well you already know i adore her.
Kiss me slowly? parachute.. another longtime favorite.
Hide and Seek.. I have heard this song before.. but it is a new obsession of mine.
Now.. who doesnt love ADELE?
Augustana is my secret love addiction. On particular days.. i craveeee their music. Weird i know.
I am slightly embarrassed that i love blasting this song and screaming the words.. Are you gonna kiss me or not??
And.. our lovely Passion Pit.. Who doesn't just love a little sleepy head?

As you can tell my music genre is all over the place.. especially lately! But i love music suggestions.. so who's got some for me?

how great is this song

Umm one. i love Rascall Flatts. Two. i love Natasha. And three. The harmony is in this song is beautiful.

Wednesday greatness

Today included activities such as:

My boss giving Hilary his sunglasses because the sun was blinding her through the windows. Which, naturally was sort of awkward cuz she then felt obligated to wear them...hilarious.

Celebrated a birthday and an employee leaving on a mission..free lunches at work today..Primeeee

Writing 3:4 papers due tomorrow. Only one left.. Which will be done around the 7 a.m hour tomorrow morning. Yay!

Reading all about love during my shift at the LC. Did you know there are 5 love languages? Way interesting stuff.


Anddd I officially decided that I hate autocorrect. Really..wag? I meant way ya dumb iPod!

Plus I laughed out loud at the mere thought of my teammate throwing the ball in underhand last night in my soccer game. Wayyy too funny for words to even express. Welcome to an all new low Haley Hansen.

How was your Wednesday?

Loving these products

Product review day... just throwing something different out onto my blog. Obviously i am no expert.. but i loveeee these products!


Essie: Power clutch. $7-8 at Ulta

I am absolutely obsessed with this color. It is the perfect neutral. I am one who loves black nail polish, but sometimes it makes me feel goth. Soo instead i opted for a little lighter gray shade.. and let me tell you i am in love. It is the perfect fall color, and yet it is light enough that i know come spring time it will still be in style.


I love essie nail polish in general. Ever since i bought my first color--Turquoise and Caicos-- i vowed to never go back to any other brand. i am sure all you OPI lovers out there want to shoot me.. but sorry! i have tried that stuff too, and personally essie is a lot more smooth and easier to apply. And it dries reasonably quick. I hate painting my nails because i am way too impatient to sit and wait while the polish dries. Usually i end up with smudged and chipped nails before i even get to show off my new color! All because i just suck at waiting.. and sometimes i apply too much polish. Which is why i went on a limb.. i bought this stuff today:


Essie Good to Go--- $10 at Ulta



In the words of Essie it is "the fastest drying top coat". I will admit i am a little skeptical when it comes to things like this--especially for the price. But i am in complete shock at this stuff! it seriously dried my nail polish about 19284921804 times faster than normal, and it gave a little extra shine. Just as it says on the box.. it dries nail polish almost instantly.. and truly it does! I will neverrrr paint my nails again with out this stuff. I am already typing on my computer.. and yup i painted my nails like 3 minutes ago.. Whooot woot!


Tarte: Smooth Operator Tinted Moisturizer $36 at Ulta

This summer my face was super dry because i was on dumb medication that dried out my skin.. this product came to my rescue. Moving into the colder months means the same thing! 36 bucks i will be honest.. i am not a huge one for spending.. but this is a life saver. Moisturizers are tricky because everyone's skin is different. And trust me, i use to have the most oily skin around. But this moisturizer is seriously perfect--not too oily, and not too dry. Plus the extra tint gives you enough coverage that you can go out with just the moisturizer on. It gives your skin a nice evened out look with out appearing to have your make up 'chalked on'. I like to use this as my moisturizer after i wash my face, and then i use a little bit of Bare Minerals powder to even out the oils. Sometimes i think that Bare Minerals doesn't stay on for very long.. but i have noticed that the two combined create a perfect mixture.. the Tarte moisturizer makes the Bare Minerals powder stick to your skin for longer. It is light weight and most of the time i can hardly tell i am wearing any make up. Try this combo.. its a must!


Cetaphil Daily Facial Cleanser... about $8 in grocery stores

I have never been known for my beautiful skin. Quite honestly, i have struggled with acne and any other type of skin disorder out there.. you name it, i've had it. My skin is uber sensitive, but at the same time i need something strong enough to keep my skin clear. This cleanser has been the only one that has worked wonders for my skin! it is awesome. It cleanses, but doesn't leave my face too dry. So if you are trying to find a good facial cleanser.. try this one out. My dermatologist (yes i see a dermatologist regularly.. i'm not even embarrassed cuz she is awesome)..anyway.. she recommended it to me years ago and i have been using it ever since.  Make the cetaphil switch! you wont regret it!

I know i am no beauty expert.. and quite seriously i have never been one of those girls who knows all about fashion: whats in vs whats not, what hair color is popular, and all that other jazz. I am one who knows more about the World Series, NBA championship, or College Bowl games, than any of this other prissy good stuff. But i do know what has worked for me. And if you are like me in any way i hope these recommendations helped you out! 

What are your favorite beauty supplies, brands, or products? 

i learned..

today has been interesting. Church is always good, but today was one of those days where i just could not focus for the life of me. hahaha instead, my inspiration comes from my personal study. Best scripture of the day.... goes to Alma 33:11....

"And thou didst hear me because of mine afflictions and my sincerity; and it is because of thy Son that thou hast been thus merciful unto me, therefore i will cry unto thee in all mine afflictions, for in thee is my joy; for thou has turned thy judgments away from me, because of they Son."

I love my Heavenly Father. I am so grateful for my knowledge of the atonement. It is through our Savior that we are saved, comforted, and blessed. He truly does know exactly how we are feeling in every instance.

Just one more thought for tonight....

Wayyyy good right? lets all try to be a little happier, a little more cheerful, and a little more uplifting. Because if we do.. we will see the Lord's hand in our life. I have felt it and i know it to be true. Happy Sunday everyone.. here's to a new week and new lessons to be learned!

sooo this movie...

was seriously incredible! loveddd everyyyy second! Julianne Hough.. yup she can dance. and she has a rockin body. and she can act. and i loved her. And mr Kenny Wormald?... smokin! holy i seriously was in love with him too. everything about this movie was just fantastic. i highlyyy recommend you go see it!

She's just too great not to blog about

I am sure you get sick of hearing about the amazing people in my life. But really it's true.. i am surrounded by the absolute best. This post is going to talk about my dear old roomie Whitley. 

Aneeeewayyyy. This last saturday was her 22nd birthday. I hadnt seen her since July practically so i headed down saturday afternoon to visit. She had a game (yeah she is a champ.. stickin with college soccer for all four years unlike someone i know).. and what a better time to watch her play than on her birthday right? I was running a little late, as usual, when i got a text from Am saying "Whit just got hurt." I responded promptly with a "shut up that's not funny." ...when the response came my heart dropped "no it's not a joke.. it looks BAD." Immediately all sorts of swear words go flying through my mind.. and within the next ten minutes i pulled up to the field. One thing is for sure.. Whit doesn't get hurt. I dont think i have ever seen whit get taken off the field because of an injury. i mean, she is one tough cookie....and she neverrr gives up. It must be baddd. 

Sure enough when i got there whit was on the sideline getting help from the trainers. Through out the rest of the game i could tell she was in pain. Yet, sure enough, there she was laughing and joking with her teammates. After the game, the diagnosis didn't look great. A partial tear in her LCL. (knee ligament) but the trainers needed her to see a doctor on Monday for a more positive diagnosis.

I headed to the doctor with her.. and after a bunch of tests, the doctor ruled out the LCL. The only thing left that it could be was the ACL. Those three letters are the absolute worst diagnosis any athlete could ever hear. She went in for an MRI less than 30 minutes later, and we were left to wait. The results wouldn't come until the morning. 

Sure enough later that night i was out running errands, when i got a phone call from Ammon. He let me know that i should probably head back to Whit's and maybe prepare myself a little before getting there. He had just talked to whit and was heading over to give her a blessing. Well long story short, the diagnosis came back earlier than normal... a torn ACL and partially torn MCL. Am gave her a beautiful blessing, and shortly after whit, min, and i, were left to talk/cry it out.

Although moments like this are some of the hardest in life, i value conversations like the one we had so much. It is in times of trial that we get to see people's real character come through. And, it is in times like these that i realize i am surrounded by the best. Obviously the circumstance is devastating: Senior year of soccer, team captain, 4 year starter, regional honors, and everything is over with one badly planted foot. Watching whit handle the situation has taught me so much. I value her example more than anything. She was left to make a really difficult decision concerning the upcoming 10 day trip to hawaii. I was amazed at her surety in the Lord's plan for her, and the absolute need to be honest with her teammates and coach. She wasn't afraid of the consequences because she knew that if she told the truth whatever was supposed to happen would. What faith right? 

I am so sad for whitley, but i am just as impressed by her. Her example that day really taught me so much about what's important in life. Putting trust in the Lord and his plan is hard, but if we follow his example we will be blessed. I love whit so much and i am sure the road ahead will not be easy, but i know she will face it strongly. I am grateful for her steadfastness-- even in the worst of situations.

Happy Birthday to the newest and greatest 22 year old around! i love your guts and am jealous you are in Hawaii! :)

Happy Anniversary

A big shout out to my dear parents. Today marks 25 years of marriage for them! I couldn't have chosen better parents and i love them dearly. Honestly i am going to have to do another post about them later cuz i just don't have the time right now. Check out my mamma's blog in the mean time. She is so awesome and i just lover her and my dad so much!

M.I.A

Yup i will admit it.. i left for the weekend and hardly told a soul. I am happy to be away. I came to one of my favorite locations, and boy is it heaven here. I love having absolutely nothing to do, no where to be, and having some selfish Haley Thinking Time. It is sooo great and refreshing. I am sure if you know me well enough you could easily figure out my whereabouts.... but for now i am leaving that little bit of information undisclosed. I will return soon enough and hopefully i will see some of your bright lovely faces!


Happy Fall Break to all my fellow Utes!!

even though...

Ya know... today has been an awesome day so far. I know it's only 2:00 in the afternoon and things could still happen that would change my great mood. But i wont let them!

Even though i woke up to a text that said "snow"... and i obviously refused to get out of bed for another 20 minutes, somehow everything went perfectly while i was getting ready in a hurry.

Even though i had twenty minutes to get ready somehow I managed to coordinate a cute outfit. I am loving my brown boots, dark denim jeans, white long 'dressier' shirt that goes mid-thigh in length, a royal blue long sleeve cardigan, and a side braid that ends in a side ponytail. Somehow, it looks decent. Add the cute white pea coat and i am set.

Even though i left my house a little bit late, and i made the executive decision to stop at Reams and buy an umbrella, i still somehow made it to class on time.

Even though it was raining/snowing miserably on my walk to class... my executive decision to buy an umbrella definitely paid off.

Even though my class was brutally boring, my teacher, who has a heavy Korean accent, made me laugh when she said Firth. i was obviously confused and it finally clicked that she was trying to say "first". Or how about the time that she said "eckjauted... oh you mean exhausted? ..made my day.

Even though the class started filling up with smoke, and my teacher kept pretending like nothing out of the ordinary was occurring, my buddies and i filling the last three rows got some good entertainment out of her facial expressions when she realized the class was 'foggy'.

Even though i didn't really prepare for my big group presentation, somehow my professor loved it! and we totally aced it.

Even though i didnt have time to study for my final in my night class, miraculously my class before got cancelled... which is why i am in the library blogging instead of studying. So... time to study!


Happy Thursday everyone!!

To 1410000004

[let me first preface this by saying.. i am not writing this for a sob story/pity party.. i simply just want to set the record straight for ONE person.. person 1410000004]

I have been thinking. And mostly i am frustrated because i want to talk to this person. But there is really no way to know who sent it. Sooo with that being said, i am reaching out. My friends know about my blog and whether or not 141000004 reads this or not.. i am attempting. I am apologizing and also stating my feelings. Take it or leave it.

Dear 1410000004,

Let me start by saying that i am slightly confused why you would send me a ten page text from some stupid app so i wouldn't know who you were. There are very few people that know the details of my life as of late, and seeming that you are most likely one of them, we should be good enough friends for you to voice your concerns to me face to face. Not over some stupid text. I have no idea who you are and quite frankly i am kind of glad.. but i do feel the need to address some of the things you said in that hurtful text.

"you are going to screw up your whole relationship because you are just being dumb and selfish"...Ok i might be acting 'dumb' but it is not your place to say whether or not i am screwing up my relationship. And selfish? i think i have the right to be selfish when it comes time to deciding who i marry. Correct me if i am wrong, but it is my future we are talking about here.. not yours.

"can't even stand talking to you anymore because you are being so selfish and it is always about you--try thinking about others instead of what Haley wants all the time"....I am sorry if i have disregarded problems in your life. Truly i am. And i hope we can talk at some point cuz clearly i have been checked out. But in this situation, with my dating life, i do think it is ok to be a little selfish with my decision of marriage. I have to live that life. Hypothetically if i were ever in a relationship to make everyone else happy.. probably not a good thing right?

"Ben has been so sick and all we hear about it you and your drama. Ben has always been there for you and now you aren't even being a friend for him when he is so sick. Instead you are making it worse i'm sure (his sickness)."....You wanna judge me for not being there for Ben when he has been sick? How about all the nights we have cancelled plans to sit at home because he is too sick to get up? or how about the days i went straight up to his house from school because he was home alone sick?.. i am making it worse?... his illness is from Mozambique, and he is on meds to correct it. So please dont assume that i am making him sick. I know this time has not been easy for anyone involved, but realize that he is not the only one hurting. And more importantly please don't tell me that i haven't been there for him while he has been sick. you have NO idea what has been going on with his health apparently.

"you are just scared to get married now that he is home"..... hahahahahah kind of hysterical if you ask me! i am not scared to get married. I would actually love to be married right now. There i said it and admitted it to all my blog readers. And if it were to Ben i would be happy! But i am NOT going to marry the wrong person. So.. give me a break please and let me figure out what my heavenly father's plan for me is. Cuz sorry, but i am not going to take your 'word for it'.

"you know you have received your answers so many times.. and everyone can see it BUT you." .... Well i am glad you think you have the right to analyze my spiritual experiences. Maybe i should just trust you to pray about my dating life and then i'll just do what you say. yeah that sounds like a fantastic idea. Seriously? Do you really think you have the right to tell me how i have felt when i have gone to the temple, read my scrips, or prayed to my heavenly father? Sure i will admit i have for sure had experiences in the past (while ben was gone) that i thought meant i was going to end up marrying ben. But Guess what? I wasnt asking then if i was going to marry ben. I simply asked if i should wait for him to get home. Those are two completely different questions.  And i know it is easy to mix up the two.. trust me i know. In the moment, it was easy to think i was going to marry ben. Looking back it all makes sense. But i also know the promptings i have had lately, and i am doing what i feel is best right now.

"Your confusion is your answer.. that you shouldn't be second guessing things. that is why you are not calm about it."... Well there is where you are wrong. I am finally at peace with myself. yeah it sucks, but i know that i need this time. I know that i will be guided. Whatever is supposed to happen, will. Sure i am confused about the WHY but not about the what. I know what i did was what i needed. And i know that my Heavenly Father loves me and will let me know when the time is right. When and who will be answered someday. Now is just not the time and i was finally getting to the point where i felt ok about that answer. Then you had to send me this lovely text. so thank you.

Now i just want to say 1410000004 i am sorry. i am sorry that i have complained, or 'burdened' you with my burdens. But it is only because i trusted you and thought you cared. Obviously i am mistaken. And i am truly sorry that i have made you feel like i do not care about your life. That is not ever the case. I care about you. And i really hope you will call me soon. You dont even have to bring up this text. In fact, dont. because seriously i am hurt and dont want to talk about it anymore. But i do want to talk about you.   Can we all just pretend this never happened?

Lastly, i want to say i am sorry to dear Benjamin. The Haley of the last month has not been a pretty one. And i am so sorry. You know i love you and think the world of you. You are my paly pal. :) and thank you for being sooo extremely patient with me. You are a true gem ya know that? muah! xoxoxo

And to my bloggers.. i am sorry if you just wasted your time reading that. but i already feel sooo much better. You have officially seen the worst of Haley Hansen, and quite frankly it is something i am ok with. I dont have a perfect life. And I am not perfect. But i am learning. Eventually things will be dandy, and for now, we weather the storm right?

Also thanks to all of you who have reached out to me in the past few days. You are all sooo great and i hope you know it really has made a difference in my days. I love you all. It's true! I have been sooo blessed that i have no reason to complain. Because i DO have amazing people surrounding me.. and that is all of you! Thank you thank you thank youuuu. Tank you (that one is for benjamin, brooke, and carson specifically) love you all and good night!! sweet dreams :)

people are just mean

I just barely got probably the rudest text in text history. Like really i have no idea who would say such mean things. The worst part?.... the text was sent from this number 141000004.. what the crap. that has to be an email or something right? does anyone know how numbers like this exist? Maybe i will muster up the courage and post the text tomorrow. Oh did i mention it was 10. TEN. diez. pages long. yuppppp you heard me right. A 10 page long text. Full of pure hating on haley words. who does that? i really dont get it. What i also dont get is that the things in the text are things that only BEST friends of mine know.. so yup one of my bf is sending me way cool texts. You know that makes me feel reallyyyy great. Ooopps here goes up the trust wall again. Trust no one. it goes SPLAT right in your face.Yay me. yay unnecessary drama. yay good friends that know nothing about what they think they are experts on. going to bed. hopefully tomorrow is a better day.


(if you cant really tell.. i am pissed beyond actual words. and hurt. and crying. BUT it's my blog i'll say whatever i want. thank you and good night)

Tay Tay

I absolutely love tay swift. She will forever be my favorite.. along with Johnny boy Mayer. The concert was incredible... Quite unbelievable to even try to explain. I walked away one happy girl that night and officially say it was the best birthday present everrr. Thank you daddy! Let me say.. tay is an amazing performer.. she played the piano, ukulele, guitar, bass, and wrote all her songs. so awesome. Her rendition of Fearless on the uke made my heart happy.

She sang a song i have never heard before.. it is my new favorite and explains exactly my life right now. so have a listen.. it's a definite ear pleaser.



Life makes love look hard....

Goin on a limb

i have been thinking a lot lately. Ya know what bugs? and with out a doubt everyyyone does it? myself included? well...this is going to take a lot of explaining. 

Why does everyone always have an opinion about who should date who, who goes well together, who absolutely should not date, and who one should marry..etc? It drives me crazyyyy. People do it all the time. "like what is she doing..?".... "He isnt good for her..."....."They are perfect together why did he end it?"..."oh my gosh she totally should date that other guy"...."you guys are like the perfect couple"... "why would you do that?".... blah blah blah. I am so sick of it. I know i have done it before too everyone is guilty. But now that i am on the other side of the criticism it hits all too close to home. I get that people want me to be happy. I get that people will always have an opinion of what is best for me. I get that. i get it all. What i dont get is why.. if.. [ultimately] people want me to be happy.. then why are they sooo critical? It's not their life. Who i date, hang out with, or marry, will not directly affect anyone besides myself and my future family. That alone is enough pressure right? 

I know i am guilty too. everyone is in one way or another. No one ever knows what someone else's relationship is like. Only two people are involved in those relationships.. and in the end those two people are who matter most. Are they happy? Are they good for each other? We can assume, and have our opinions, but in the end we should put all our efforts toward supporting them. Go along with them on the ride of  new, fun, relationships. Life is about learning and improving. We can all learn and improve from our friends and their experiences. 

i vow to change. i will judge less, be less opinionated on friends choices, and support them in their challenges. We can all improve, and we need to improve.  Because in the end.. all we will have left are the relationships we have built. So scrutinize less, be slower to judge, and be quicker to lend a supporting hand.