Out with the Old, In with the New

It was the Monday before Christmas, my first official day at home after quitting my job. Ammon woke up and headed out to work around 6:00am, and I remember him kissing me goodbye and falling right back asleep.

About an hour and a half later, I woke to a man standing in my doorway of my bedroom. I said, "Ammon?" even though part of me was freaked out cuz i didn't have my contacts in, and it was dark in the room. The next thing I heard was.. "hey babe.. so I got in a car accident on my way to work [i tried interrupting him at this point] I am okay. just a little freaked out. I have been trying to call you".

Worst wife award goes to me. Ammon had been calling me and texting me since about 6:15 when the accident happened, but my phone was on silent and I slept right through it all. Apparently it was pouring rain that morning, and although Ammon was going -10 under the speed limit, he lost control of his car when it hydroplaned and crossed three lanes of traffic on the freeway. He ended up spinning 90 degrees, and T-boning a car three lanes over. This then sent his car back spinning the other way until the back end of his car met the concrete wall. Poor Ammon's glasses flew off, it was dark, pouring rain, he couldn't get ahold of his wife, and he was so shaken up! Luckily everyone was okay, and he was able to get a hold of his brother in law to pick him up and bring him home.

Hearing this whole story and even thinking about it now makes me so nervous! Life is just so precious and I take things for granted too often. I honestly don't know what I would do if something would have happened to Ammon.. it makes me freak out just thinking about it. Ammon's car ended up being totaled, (which we expected) but the insurance company gave us money to help replace his old car with a new one. For about two weeks we borrowed a car from my parents, or made life with one car work.

Finally last week we were able to purchase a new car! Two new cars in 5 months for the Zitting family... that is definitely a record. Ammon's parents were wanting to sell their Sonata, so we pulled the trigger. Even though the situation was definitely not ideal, we are grateful for the way things have panned out, and in hindsight we can see the blessings shine through. SO! With out further mention.. here is the newest member of the Zitting family!

24 Weeks

These were taken today.. 24 weeks and 1 da

How far along: 24 weeks and one day :)

Size of the baby: a cantaloupe :)

Weight gain: about 15 ish pounds

Maternity clothes? yes! Maternity jeans frequent my wardrobe. I can still fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans, but i have to do the 'elastic band trick' through the button hole. Sometimes I can get them buttoned but its really not worth the discomfort. I have two pairs of maternity jeans from H&M and am so glad I started wearing them.. they are my favorite pants! I haven't gotten any maternity shirts yet because I can make most of my shirts work still. I do need to get a few new skirts for church though..

Sleep: GREAT! I still don't have a problem sleeping. Some nights my mind races and wont stop thinking, but i just wipe on some Stress Away and Peace and Calming and I am out cold. I am lucky.. i dont wake up to pee.. and can sleep through the night comfortably. The only thing that sucks is rolling over! It is so surprising how fast your ab muscles disappear and it is even more surprising to realize all the things you can't do with out them! Rolling over is a beast and has turned into 'bouncing over in three steps'. Its quite hilarious and annoying.

Cravings: My cravings continue to change, and to be honest.. i haven't really had those "OH MY GOSH I GOTTA HAVE IT OR I AM GONNA KILL SOMEONE type craving yet. I went through a cheese kick.. i literally ate a cheese quesadilla, string cheese, and cheddar cheese chips everyday for lunch. Prettyyy gross now that I think about it. I still like hot wings, but other than that I feel like my appetite is pretty normal. I get random cravings here and there, but nothing too crazy. 

Baby movement? YES! Pretty much since week 20 I have been able to feel her a lot! This week in particular has been awesome because I can feel her ALL the time now. She and I are on a good schedule.. she is awake when I am falling asleep (which is SO fun laying in bed and watching my belly move around like crazy) and we usually wake up at the same time. It makes it hard to get out of bed in the morning cuz I just LOVE relaxing and feeling her every little jab and kick. There is the possibility that she is awake when I am sleeping, but I don't notice and can sleep through her movement. She is very active and I feel her all day as I work at my computer. Ammon actually felt her for the first time on Saturday!! He was so excited and I was so happy because the little stinker is stubborn with her daddy! Every time he puts his hand on my belly she stops kicking.. but finally we caught her in action and he felt a good hard KICK. He lit up and it was so cute and just so special.

Gender Prediction: GIRL

Challenges this week: This week has been so awesome! I haven't felt this good in so long... my lower back occasionally hurts, and my ribs are expanding, but I realized that I can somewhat control my rib pain by watching which foods I eat. 

Best moment this week: Finally having Ammon be able to feel her move. I will never forget that experience.. his face light up and he said.. "I just felt that!"... it has happened a few times since and I love it every time.

Nursery: NO GO. haha I am struggling big time. I cannot decide what I want. I thought I had decided and then ammon wasn't super fond of my idea.. so I am back to the drawing board. haha! Compromise is the best policy right? Whatever we do I am sure we will both end up loving it. We move this weekend so once we are settled into our new place construction will start :)

Just some crazy thoughts on motherhood

I dont know what my deal is. First and foremost, I hope all of my friends people reading this know just how excited I am about becoming a mother. I feel so extremely blessed to have the opportunity that I know so many women would kill to have. I guess I just feel sort of unsettled? I don't think that is the right word,... maybe indecisive is the better way to describe my feelings. No, actually.. I finally admitted it to myself today.. I feel extremely overwhelmed.

Today I went looking for fabrics to make my baby bedding. I have searched high and low for something that is perfect.. the problem is.. i dont even know what that looks like. There are SO many options,... and I swear I have searched every website on the planet looking for the bedding I have made up in my mind. What does it look like, you ask?... I have no idea. I can't explain it. I can't tell you the colors I want. I can't tell you want patterns I am looking for.. All i can tell you is what I DON'T WANT.  I am seriously losing it people. I know I sound crazy. Today, the more I looked, the more confused I became and the more frustrated I felt. There are just TOO many options.

Before I was pregnant I LOVED shopping for baby clothes. I looked forward to baby shower invites just so I could have the excuse to go spend hours shopping for the perfect little baby outfit for my friends. I could ALWAYS find stuff I loved, and most of the time I had the hardest time deciding which of the 10 outfits I should buy. I found so much joy in buying those precious little gifts and so looked forward to the day when I had the excuse to buy all those things for my babies. Now, I just feel overwhelmed when I walk into Carter's or Gymboree. I see so many things that I love, but ALWAYS end up leaving empty handed. why? I don't freakin know. I literally have made like 2 purchases for baby girl (besides deciding on a crib, and stroller).. One outfit, a pair of Nike's, and a set of headbands. I go home and tell Ammon about all the cute things I saw.. and when he asks why I didn't buy it.. I never know what to say. I always thought I was just indecisive or wasn't in the 'mood' to shop. And up until today I guess I just didn't realize the real answer.

For some reason in my crazy head I feel so insanely overwhelmed. Overwhelmed that every decision I make regarding the babe is somehow going to shape the way the baby's life will be. like.. the bedding and look of her nursery is going to affect the way she feels, thinks, and develops. Like the clothes she wears are going to shape her into a dancer, a little doll, or an athlete. ... And guess what?! I don't even care what she decides to take interest in, what sports she plays (or doesn't), what her choice of style looks like.. I really dont care!   I know it sounds crazy.. and i am sitting here typing this thinking.. WOW! You really have lost it. But the truth is, none of those things even freaking matter.. and deep down I know that. All I want for my little girl is that she is happy, feels loved, develops into a good person that has a kind and genuine heart. All I want is for her to know whose she is, and where she came from.

I guess the perfectionist in me is deciding to manifest herself. I have always been sort of a perfectionist, but I can usually find a balance between what is practical and what is just 'too much'. This whole Mommy/pregnancy thing has so many feelings tied to it, that for the first time i am just admitting to myself that I feel completely overwhelmed, excited, anxious, loved, indecisive, blessed, ecstatic, nervous, proud, scared, happy, and unsure, all at the same time. haha!....Poor Ammon.. He is probably wondering where the calm and composed woman he married went. :)

Typing this out already made me feel better. I guess sometimes you just have to admit your faults and move on! Project baby nursery is underway! :)

Just some belly pics my friend McKenna took for me!

Baby is a....

We waited until my 18 week appointment (instead of getting an ultrasound done around 14-15 weeks) and I was DYING to know.

That morning I was so excited I couldn't contain it. I had purposely scheduled the earliest appointment, 9:00 am, so I wouldn't have to wait all day. We left the house with plenty of time to get there early, etc, but traffic had other plans! We hit major traffic right as we were getting on the freeway to go around the point of the mountain.. and soon enough I saw the numbers 9:00 on the clock show up. I was a wreck! I called the Doctor's office and told them what was going on.. which they responded "okay well just get here as soon as you can. we can't hold your appointment".

Thankfully, traffic didn't hold us up for too much longer, and we got to the appointment only about 10 minutes late. I was a ball of stress!

We went into the little room, and the tech asked if she would be telling us the gender or putting it in an envelope.. We told her we were too excited to go through that process. She put the monitor on my belly, and the first thing she said was "well.. there is your little princess!" Ammon and I were both shocked and immediately asked what we were looking at (she seriously found the bum sooo quickly) and she explained everything and pointed out our little ones 'lady parts'. The tech then moved around, took all the baby's measurements.. to which all came back normal and right on track for our due date of May 17th. My favorite part was when she was trying to get a picture of baby's face, and little girl kept covering her face with her hands! I fell in love with her little fingers that she kept opening and closing all while hiding her sweet little face. She is my favorite little human ever.

Left: Frontal view of baby's face and her two little hands.
Right: baby's profile 

Later that night we headed to my parents house to share the news. My mom had decorated her house in pink and blue, made the cutest banner, and then cooked a dinner of all blue and pink foods. I brought over cupcakes that I had made at Sweet Tooth Fairy.. the inside was filled with frosting the color of the baby's gender, and the outside was plain with white frosting and pink and blue sprinkles. 

My mom frantically grabbed a cupcake and was so anxious to get the wrapping off so she could take a bite.. well when Chandler saw her so frantic he grabbed a cupcake and bit right into it without even unwrapping it! Soon enough his beard was covered in PINK frosting! My whole family was shocked because they all thought it was a boy!

Next we headed to Ammon's sister's house and gave them the cupcakes with the rest of his family on skype. Their reactions were priceless! So much commotion over the different phones, facetime, and skype. It was perfect!

I am really glad we didn't do the whole 'envelope' surprise type reveal. Ammon and I had our little secret and were able to sit and enjoy that awesome 18 week ultrasound of our sweet little girl! Even now just thinking about it makes me smile.

Surprising our families

I feel like every girl dreams of the day she gets to tell her mom that she is pregnant. I had thought about this experience a lot... saw all the cute announcements on fb, pinterest, and the videos on youtube... of families freaking out at the exciting news of a baby on the way. That was the hardest part about keeping my secret until after i had my first appointment.. I was dying to tell our families!

First up, we drove to St. George to visit Ammon's parents and his little sister Nikki. We were so excited to tell them as soon as we pulled in the driveway late that Friday night. BUT! Nikki, being the adorable teenager she is, was out with friends. We waited up late for her to get home.. but then received a text she was having a sleepover. BUMMER! The next morning we woke up and while eating breakfast, Nikki came home. Ammon went upstairs and grabbed our 'bag of goodies' that I had prepared before leaving home. Casually I told them I had bought them a cute sign that reminded me of something they would have in their house. It was a sign that said "Grandchildren welcome.. Parents by appointment!" They LOVED it, and didn't catch on, (which we knew they wouldn't) because there are already 4 grandchildren on the Zitting side. Then, we handed them a frame I had gotten and inside the frame it said "Grandbaby #5 coming in May!" It took them awhile to read the message and catch on to our big announcement.. but when they did it was PRICELESS!

All at once Ben, Jean, and Nikki, yelled, "WHAT?!!!?!??!?!" so loud that it scared me! I was laughing so hard and then started crying a little bit because i was so excited to tell them! Nikki was jumping around the house and Ben and Jean were just as ecstatic. It was awesome. I so so wish we would have recorded their reaction!

Then, that Sunday we had arrived back from STG, and headed up to my parents house for Sunday dinner. It was sort of tricky with my family because Easton had been home from USU the past 3 weekends and I was so worried he wouldn't come home again. (Apparently I asked him so many times that he became suspicious and decided to come home in case I had something I needed to tell him ha!) I had bought the same frame for my mom and edited the insert to match my family... "Grandbaby #1 coming in May!" I had also gotten a shirt made that said "Best Uncle Ever" and we had decided to give it to my littlest brother, Teagan, since he would be the least suspicious of us buying him a shirt.

Once we were all sitting at dinner, I told my parents we had gotten them an anniversary present and handed them the frame, and quickly after, I told Teagan I had gotten him a shirt that I thought he would like while we were in St. George. Ammon was filming the whole thing, but the dang camera didnt focus! Such a bummer.. but you can still get a good idea of what happened.

                                                We're Pregnant! from Haley Hansen on Vimeo.

My dad was the first one to read the frame, and he was SILENT! Just little tears streaming down his face.. all while my mom admired how much she loved the frame... seriously she didn't read the note for what seemed like FOREVER! She had the frame for awhile before we started filming.. so it doesn't seem as long in the video. My mom was so frantic that she was freaking out when Teagan opened his shirt, and all my brothers were just as surprised. My dad doesn't say much in the video because he was crying! And after this was filmed my mom was in tears too. It was so perfect.

Both of our families are so excited! We had such a fun time announcing it to all of Ammon's siblings since they are spread out all over the country. May really can't come soon enough!