Post first date--Things get messy

Stupid blogger somehow deleted my post sooo.. i had to re-write this. SO LAME. Blame blogger. If you have been keeping up on the recent series of 'how we met'.. this is the next post!

Time went on and so did I.. unfortunately. I slowly pulled myself away from ammon and off I went. He sent me a Merry Christmas text, and to be honest, i am pretty sure i didn't even respond. I am so AWESOME!

January rolled around and another semester began. I started thinking about Ammon a lot and really wanted to start hanging out with him again. I knew his birthday was coming up in February and decided it was the prefect way to get things going again. I called him up the day before his birthday (which was kinda weird because we hadn't really been talking) and made up some crazy story about how my roommates were having an argument whether chocolate or vanilla was better, he settled it with one vote for 'vanilla', and off I went to the grocery store to buy a vanilla cake mix.

I made him his cake, and kept telling him to come over to my house for a surprise. He wasn't texting me back for forever, and i figured he was just ignoring my annoying self and decided to forget about it. SOOO.. what did my roommates and I do? Oh we dug in and started eating his cake. BUT WAIT!.. Am decided to show up way later that night.. to a half-eaten Happy Birthday cake. We were so AWESOME! Obviously I made somewhat of a good impression because we kept talking in the days and weeks following. I also came to find out that the reason he was so late was because he had been on a date with his ex girlfriend. Yay. 
our very first picture together.
The weeks after were a little weird.. i really started to like Ammon, but was still writing my missionary every week. Andddd Ammon, was really starting to like me, but his ex girlfriend wanted to get back together with him. So we were both kind of in sticky situations and just kept waiting to see what would happen. Ammon headed off to Hawaii for a ten day baseball trip (so lucky), and while he was gone i was soo sad! I missed him like crazy! Luckily, we talked everyyy chance we got.. he would walk to the  coffee shop with free wifi so we could skype, and i would stay up til 2:30 every night to hear about his games. I was so excited for him to get home, and when he did.. he did not disappoint. :)
The day ammon got home from HI.
Am got home, and quickly we got re-aquianted with each other. We talked for hours on end that day and Ammon said some pretty amazing things to me. I could have sworn 'i love you' was going to pop out of his mouth, but it never did. Instead he told me that he had thought about it a lot and was feeling good putting things with his ex behind him, and he wanted to move forward with me. He told me he knew that i wasn't ready for that, but that it was ok and he would wait as long as it took for me to figure everything out. I was happy to hear him say such nice and thoughtful things, but i was also seriously freaked out about what to do. Again.. I just decided that time would tell. Am and I hung out practically every day until the end of the semester.
I do have a swimsuit on guys.. we were THAT crazy.
We ended up moving home for the summer--he was in Pleasant Grove and I was in Sandy. The drive took exactly 33 minutes.. something neither of us were use to. He tried really hard to keep things the way they were.. and once again I could feel myself distancing myself from him. We talked and i told him i just wanted to be friends. I headed off to Africa in June, and we emailed a few times while i was gone. I will be the first to admit that while i was there I 100% thought that my missionary and I were going to end up together. He was serving only a few countries away from where I was and I loved the experiences and cultures that we both grew to love so much. When I got home Ammon ended up coming to my house just to hear about my trip. We talked for hours that night.. and surprisingly nothing physical happened between the two of us. (this was rare.. am and I have always been friendly with each other.. cuddling, sitting extra close, holding hands, etc.. was not abnormal even if we were 'just friends'.) When he left I felt relieved in a way because we were.. 'just friends'.. and for once i wasn't that worried about things. BUT, as the weeks wore one... my 'more than friends' feelings crept their way in again, and i constantly found myself wishing that something more would happen. It was the weirdest feeling ever--writing someone every Sunday night and feeling so excited to hear from him, and then spending every night with someone else that made me soo happy. I was a confused mess. I decided i was going to transfer to the University of Utah, and that i would not be moving back to St George. Ammon knew this, and we were both trying to fight the inevitable. Time was coming to a close.. and the dreaded night to say good bye was here.

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